http://www.dapurbola.com/muslera-harus-absen-tiga-pekan.html
Fernando Nestor Muslera Micol is a football player. He is the one of goalkeepers in Lazio. He was born 24 years ago in June 16th 1986. He is a Uruguayan although he was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He plays for Uruguay National Team.
Muslera has good appearance. He is pretty tall, about 6’3” inches tall or about 1.90 meters tall. He looks good with his white skin, brown eyes and pointed nose. His blond hair and his clean face make him handsome. He looks cool.
His career is good and fantastic. He plays for Lazio. Before he plays for Lazio, he played for Montevideo Wonderers and Nacional. Lazio’s scout was interested with his skills. He has been joining with Lazio since 2007. He was 21 years old when he joined with Lazio. He is wearing shirt number 86. In the first time in Lazio, he played worse. So, he was being second goalkeeper in Lazio. In 2008, he was being second goalkeeper too. He became the first goalkeeper when Juan Pablo Carrizo, the new goalkeeper, played bad. He is often be the first goalkeeper until now.
Muslera does not have many achievements. He just brought Lazio to be a winner of Coppa Italia in 2009. Lazio could play in Europe League because of his hard work. In the National Team, he has been being the first goalkeeper since he often plays well with Lazio. He brought Uruguay to be the fourth in World Cup 2010. His achievements are less. It is enough for him because he is still young.
Fernando Muslera is the first goalkeeper in Lazio. He makes many saves for his goal. He is one of great young goalkeepers in the world. He joined with Lazio when he was still young, about 21 years old. It was amazing because he could join with one of great clubs in Italy. He brought Lazio to be a winner of Coppa Italia. He made some bigger clubs interested with him. He rejected all because he still wants to be a part of Lazio team. It is the reasons why I like Fernando Muslera.
woowwww...you are really crazy about football!!!
BalasHapusyour essay good but it have not conclusion.
you can wrote about how do you like him?
make it better :)
Adnan,
BalasHapusIn paragraph 1 you write "He was born 24 years ago in June 16th 1986. He is a Uruguayan although he was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina."
I think you should change it with "He was born on 24 years ago on June 16th 1986 in Buenos Aires,Argentina."
Then, keep pay attention with your grammar.
That's all from me.
Tq.
Don't forget to give your comment on my blog too.
hy nan...
BalasHapusyou essay is good..
but it better to you to add some pictures again..
thanks adnan...
adnan,,
BalasHapusso far your essay is good enough,,
but keep pay attention about grammar, diction and punctuation mark,,,
that's from me!!
keep writing!!
:)
hy adnan...
BalasHapusyour essay is good enough..
but keep pay attention about grammar, diction and punctuation mark,,,
but it better to you to add some pictures again because your idol like so handsome :)
that's all from me .
He is pretty tall, about 6’3” inches tall or about 1.90 meters tall. --> he is pretty tall, about 6'3" inches or 1.90 meters tall.
BalasHapusMuslera does not have many achievements. --> change the tense to present perfect or perfect continuous if necessary
Fernando Muslera is the first goalkeeper in Lazio. --> the sentence has meaning "muslera is the first GK in lazio (since was found on 1900). i think u should add some information like "muslera is the first GK in lazio since he has been joining in 2007"
in paragraph 3 the readers will feel like such kind of boring coz almost all of the sentences begin with "he". try to find another word in order to make your readers more interesting to read your essay.
overall your essay is good, but when make a sentence, try to make it longer. a sentence is not only consist of subject - predicate - object / compliment. the readers wont interesting to read it. for example "he looks cool". <-- make this sentence longer with adding some information. be creative next time.